Iceless Knight
by susha1987
Summary: Bella has Cancer and wants nothing more than for her life to change directions. Edward returns, though his homecoming isn't quite what he expected. Will Edward ever reclaim his heart? Will Bella live long enough for that? Better than it sounds! ExB
1. Chapter 1

**{Important Info}When a new idea strikes, I can't help but giving it more thought. I've read countless stories on Bella being sick when Edward returns and though I can see this as becoming slightly over-used, I couldn't help but add to this growing amount of fandom. I knew the basics on Cancer and yet still, I realized that I was hardly capable of writing a story from my background knowledge alone. I spent countless hours researching forms of cancer, their causes, the possible treatments, the affects...basically, everything I could get my hands on. Cancer is extremely important, and there's still many people who haven't enough knowledge about the subject. If you were to ask me about cancer all I could tell you was that I had heard about "lung and breast cancer." This may or may not, be true for you, but I also wanted to spread awareness for another type of cancer; something I had never heard of until last night. If you have any questions about cancer in general, I would strongly reccommend you to check out the 'American Cancer Society.'

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**{Story Info}As for the story, I would like to state that I'm not exactly fond of this chapter. I know where I'm going with this story and I know that it will improve over time, but I have no way of proving that to you; all I can ask is that you bear with me through the next two/three chapters, before deciding whether or not you like it. I will upload quickly this time, though I would highly apprecriate everyone's reviews. Now that I've practically written a novel here before actaully getting to the story though, I would just like to thank you for bearing with me this far and now...go ahead and read! XD

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**{BPOV}

I sat on the cold ground of our meadow, remembering what it had been like when it was filled with happiness. Times had been hard for Charlie and I knew that my current situation wasn't making out to be any easier but I could hope. Laurent had found me here once, who was to say that Victoria wouldn't be just as lucky? All I had to do was wait and surely, my luck would catch up to me.

Tears glided down my cheeks as my body racked with silent sobs. Remembering what the doctor had said-his words turning my world upside down until it all came crashing back at me. Ovarian Cancer had never been something that I heard about frequently, nor was it something I ever expected to learn about in depth.

Renee had practically feinted from the news. It didn't matter that she didn't cry in front of me. I knew her well enough to know that the running water in the bathroom was her way of hiding her tears. For Charlie, it never seemed like the news had processed. He worked extra hours and though I knew he was taking a beating, I couldn't find it in me to make it any easier.

Why was this taking so long? Victoria was supposed to find me! She _wanted_ to kill me; she wanted to make me suffer. The last part didn't matter much anymore. I knew that I was already suffering and that was nothing compared to what was to come once I made my decision on treatments.

My fingers clutched at the grass beneath me even as I became violently ill. "Bella?" The velvet voice seemed stronger than before-more present-though still nothing more than a figment of my imagination.

I didn't bother to turn in the direction it had come from; I already knew what I would find there. Instead, I drug myself further away. I was hurting, but for once, I didn't want to face my imagined Edward.

"Oh, god, Bella; what happened to you?" This wasn't right. His voice was thickly coated in terror and false sorrow. Only, this time, my imagined Edward knelt beside me, brushing my hair from my face.

"Please, don't touch me." I whispered. I knew that I wanted to feel his touch again, but all the same, it would kill me when I realized he wasn't real. He drew his hand back though his eyes were truly agonized.

"Let me take you to Carlisle, he can help you." Edward suggested feebly, though I was shaking my head before he had finished.

"What? Now I'm going to start imagining Carlisle too? And, what happens when I imagine everyone? Do you really think that's going to change anything? Do you really believe that my imagination is going to help me?" I muttered. My voice was thick from crying, making my words sound like I were choking on them.

"Love, you're not imagining this. I couldn't live without you any longer." Internally, I scoffed at that last part; I was truly going to tear myself up one of these days, "Charlie's been searching for you." He murmured. Charlie. Surely Charlie would matter to me if nothing else did.

"I don't believe you. Charlie's working overtime and you don't want me. What reason would you have to come back?" Edward sighed dramatically.

"We can argue about your sanity on the matter later. As of now, I'm taking you to Carlisle; you look awful." I snorted.

"What?"

"You have no idea." I answered simply before darkness overcame me.

I awoke in a room full of familiar vampires and a laugh tore through my lips; it had taken me long enough, but I had finally lost my sanity.

"Love, how do you feel?" Edward murmured as he tried to pull back my hair. I pulled away again, shaking my head.

"I really did it this time. I've completely lost my hold on sanity." I laughed. Edward's hand clamped onto my shoulder and I shuttered from the unfamiliar chill that it brought to my heated skin.

"Bella, really! We've all come back. This is real-I'm real- and you haven't lost your sanity." I shook under his hold. Realizing this, Edward drew back, though he still knelt at my side.

"How can this be real?" I asked, more to myself, than actually expecting an answer.

"I missed you too much to stay away." Again, I snickered. Edward sighed, "What is it this time?"

"I hardly doubt you missed me. If this is real," I said as I stared into the depths of his topaz eyes, "Then you only came back out of guilt and if that's the truth, then I don't want you here. So, either you're real and are here because you feel bad, or you're a figment of my imagination."

"Why on Earth, would you believe that I came back out of guilt?"

"Because, you heard that I had cancer and you felt bad that you left me here, torn up and grieving because you were gone." Edward stiffened, refusing to breath, as his eyes seemed to glaze over. My heart rate accelerated as I considered what this meant.

"…Victoria…?" I asked, though it was barely audible to even my own ears. Alice shook beside Edward. No, if this were Victoria, then they would have been preparing themselves for the attack; that left only one possibility, though I refused to believe it.

"You…I mean…You didn't…know?" There didn't seem to be an answer forth-coming as I stood to leave. I reached the door before Edward stood blocking my exit.

"Bella," He sounded so tormented, so broken…so helpless, that I didn't know how to reply. He cleared his throat and tried again, "Bella, I _didn't_ know." I rolled my eyes before brushing past him and exiting the house; of course he knew.

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**It really agravates me that I have to write this story without an editing program. I would love nothing more than to write a moving story that truly sheads light onto just how serious cancer is and yet, I know there are countless mistakes in my writing. I'm finally starting to understand how to get my program up and running again-provided that my computer doesn't freeze, that is-the next chapter should be at least ten times better. Please, please, please, review! I'd love to hear what you have to say and if you have any ideas for what you think should happen next. **


	2. Chapter 2

-**And, here's the next chapter! I'm really excited now that I know what's going to happen in the following chapters but I had to set everything up, so I'm sorry if this chapter seems a little rushed....However, I'm actually really proud of how it's turning out so far, so go ahead and read!

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**{Epov}

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I couldn't understand what she was saying. My angel couldn't have been saying what I had heard. Her words seemed like daggers, punctuating my already tormented heart. Where hope remained, darkness seemed to overshadow everything else. No, I had misheard her, my Bella wasn't sick; she couldn't be sick.

_'Edward, she can't have cancer!'_ Alice shrieked internally. I only dimly noticed her small form shaking at my side. My eyes were glazed over as I stared back at Bella. I took in her worried expression, and drowned in the depths of her beautiful brown orbs that I had gone so long without.

_'We just came back for her and I'm not ready to lose her.' _Emmett thought. Bella's heart rate accelerated drastically and I worried for her health.

"…Victoria…?" She murmured, fearfully. What was this about Victoria? What _else_ could possibly be wrong, now? What other reason would Bella have to be so frightened? I had a million questions to have answered, and yet, not one of them could pass through my closed lips.

I barred my questions to the world almost as self-consciously as I had barred my heart away from Bella all those months ago.

"You…I mean…You didn't know?" Bella asked, weakly. Damn it all to hell, no! If I had known, I would have come back that much sooner! If I had known, I wouldn't have left her in the first place! My torrent of words seemed blocked as I choked them back down.

Bella stood quickly, making her way to the front door. I remained kneeling motionlessly where she had left me near the couch.

'_Edward! Don't let her go!'_ Esme directed, hurriedly; she was just as reluctant as the rest of us for Bella to leave. I stood swiftly and blocked the door before Bella so much as blinked.

"Bella," Finally I had uttered something, though it still seemed ineffective as Bella's eyes became calculating; she was trying to see if she could get past me without causing a scene and I wasn't allowing it. "I _didn't_ know." I told her sincerely.

Bella rolled her eyes, making a show of it and brushed past me, walking out the door and slamming it shut behind her. I had come to claim my heart and she wasn't about to give it back.

"Bella!" Alice cried after her, though I knew Bella hadn't heard. Backing against the wall I slid down, covering my face from their pointed glares. I couldn't bear facing their anger when in comparison to my own. Jasper shuttered before retreating out the back door; our emotions were taking a toll on him, too.

"You're an ass-whole." Rosalie muttered before storming up the stares. Her thoughts were slightly different though, _'How could he have left her like that? She looked like she had been through hell and back. How could he let her walk out that door? I know you're listening Edward; how could you do this?'_

"I don't know," I sobbed, uselessly. Esme sighed and came to my side, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

"Ignore Rosalie," She instructed, "You didn't know; how could you have? You were trying to do what was best. It isn't your fault." I moved out of her grasp.

"Of course it's my fault! I shouldn't have left her in the first place, dammit! I could have been there for her when she needed the support! I didn't have to tear her up and step on the pieces all over again. I could've come back sooner!" Esme looked at me pointedly, I hadn't meant to yell at her, but she couldn't deny that this was my fault.

Alice glided over, her expression grim, "Edward listen to you." _'Bella wouldn't want that. She doesn't want your pity and I doubt she would have appreciated your coming back because of it; she said as much herself.'_

"Alice, can you see where she is going?" I asked. Alice sighed before her eyes glazed over as she tried to find Bella's decision.

"She isn't going home. She's going back to the meadow, though I can't imagine why." The meadow. Our meadow. I was out the door before anyone could even hope to restrain me. I had to fix this; I had to make up for my stupidity.

I ran quickly, catching up to Bella just down the road. Judging by the amount of tears she was shedding, her vision couldn't have been that reliable. Her body stiffened as she noticed my company though she refused to speak.

I positioned myself at her side and tried to keep her pace. She stumbled here and there, and I fought against my urge to help her; she wouldn't appreciate that very much.

_"Why on Earth, would you believe that I came back out of guilt?"_

_ "Because, you heard that I had cancer and you felt bad that you left me here, torn up and grieving because you were gone."_ Bella had cancer. She never stated what type, nor, how serious it was, though I doubted it was good. A thousand different forms of cancer seemed to erupt in my head as I tried to pinpoint which one was hers.

"Go ahead, already." She chocked out, drawing me back to the present.

"Excuse me?"

"Go ahead and ask. I can tell that you want to and I'd rather we didn't prolong it. I have to get home to Renee; she's been staying with us ever since…" Bella's timid voice seemed to become more reluctant to share and less unabashed.

"You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to," I stated truthfully, "Though I would appreciate it if you told me what _type_ of cancer you have." Bella shivered and I wanted nothing more in that moment than to be able to provide heat for her tiny figure. A lone tear drifted down her cheek and I placed my hand there.

"Can I touch you like this?" I asked, hesitantly; it would kill me if she pulled away again. Bella leaned further into my caress and I took this as answer enough.

"I fell off a motorcycle." Bella stated bluntly. I pulled my hand away before my anger had the chance to catch up to me.

"What exactly were you doing on the motorcycle?" I asked through clenched teeth. I knew that Bella was a danger magnet but she had to have seen that a motorcycle wasn't in her best interest.

"Jacob fixed them and we were taking them out for a ride…I didn't know how to turn and I used the wrong brake." She explained in a rush.

"But that doesn't answer my question…"

"The one about the cancer? I was telling you how I found out. I needed stitches and Jacob took me to the hospital. I don't know how they found it…they had me tested and it took them about a month before the diagnosed me." A month? A month was too long; Carlisle would never have taken that much time. All the more reason we never should have left.

"I have stage three Ovarian Cancer. Ironically, I had the rarest case," This sounded like Bella; her luck was always the leading factor in her life, "I have a Stromal Tumor in my left Ovary." She sighed. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her to a stand-still so I could look at her evenly.

Ovarian Cancer was the fifth deadliest form of cancer in woman. However, her case was rather significant. I rested my hands on either side of her face, holding her as she searched my face.

"You _are_ lucky. Your case is rare, though it is highly treatable." I whispered as I brushed my nose against her forehead, breathing in her sweet strawberry-like scent.

"How did you know that?" Reluctantly, I pulled my left hand away to tap my forehead.

"I have a good memory, love." Bella stepped forward and wrapped her arms around my waist, tightly. I pulled her even closer, allowing my body to line every inch of hers. She wept into my shoulder and I was content to hold her in my arms for the rest of eternity.

"You're really here." Her lips moved against my neck; I reveled under her contact. "You really 'real' this time."

"There have been other times?" I asked, as I planted my lips against her forehead.

She nodded slightly, though she seemed reluctant to explain and for once, I let it go.

I started to pull away slightly, causing Bella to cling to me tighter. I chuckled, pleased with her reaction.

"Don't leave me again." She murmured. Her expression looked so shattered, so hurt, that I wasn't about to consider abandoning her again.

"I will never leave you; I love you too much for that, but we need to get you home before Renee starts freaking out. Alice is almost here-she's going to take you."

Bella groaned, "Does this mean there's going to be more shopping trips in the future?"

_'She says that like it's a bad thing.'_ Alice thought, clearly offended. I smiled at Bella before releasing her to the small confines of Alice's all-too-willing arms as she hugged Bella.

"Ugh, Alice, I can't breathe!" Bella said between gasps. Alice quickly released her, smiling at her best friend. _'Breathing won't be a problem soon.'_ Alice thought as she revealed her vision to me of Bella and me clutching each other tightly. Bella had a wicked grin on her face, her eyes perfectly golden, before she took hold of my hand and drug me up the stairs behind her.

Again I stiffened, but by then, Alice had taken Bella away from me. What could that vision have meant? Was Bella's cancer worse than it seemed? Was there really a possibility of my losing her again?

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**In New Moon, I was actually disappointed in how easily Bella forgave Edward and I know that it seems like Bella is going to be the same way in _my_ story. However, I would like to mention that though this might seem true, it isn't. It's just taking Bella a little longer to process everything, but I can promise you that Drama is coming and I honestly CANNOT wait [hehe]. So, please, keep reviewing and I'll upload the next chapter in the next few days. Thanks to everyone who has already read and reviewed. Please, please, please, keep reviewing; you have no idea how much it means to me.**


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